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So I say to myself, this is not a way to get published, waiting for months and months to hear from someone who admitted that setting fire to his submission stack looked attractive.
Aside from my own fears that I'm not going to be good enough ever for anyone, print or e-publisher alike, to consider putting my stuff out there, I'm still left with an odd feeling in my stomach when I think of only pursuing traditional print pubs.
I can tell you that waiting looks extremely unattractive in the face of my impending surgery. I sort of feel that if I died on the operating table, the next day that editor would pick up my submission and call me. I don't want to wait so long I'm dying!
So I'm considering just … mutiny. What form of mutiny do you ask? I'm not sure, but I'm eyeing my pirate gear and nodding my head a little. I have a heretic heart, I've never cared for rules that are convenient for some but inconvenience the majority involved, and I'm not sure I want to take things the way they are.
So I'm planning on how to do what I need to do to get my stuff out to people. I think a little mutiny now and then is healthy. And right about now, I'm all for things in my life being healthy.
So, I'm also eyeing something called multiple submissions, a big Bozo-no-no I'm told by many people. Frankly, though, I was told by someone in the industry who was so totally sweet and shall remain nameless, that the likelyhood of two editors or two agents wanting my work at the same time is slim to none, so why not ignore the single-submission rule? Why not indeed.
And then there's ebooks. It's funny. I think of brick-and-mortar houses and I get a knot in my gut. I think of ePublishers and there's a light on, as well as a weight off, internally. So, maybe now I can go forward? Maybe my mutiny isn't that mutinous after all? I will finish come hell or high water and I'll not care who publishes my stuff, just so long as someone loves it as much as I do.
I've just read this most amazing article that has raised so many questions I can't even begin to address them all. Books For Teens Are Definitely Heating Up by Tania Padgett, from Newsday.
Now, this is just what I've been told I cannot do and get published as a romance author! Maybe I need to just send my stuff off to YA publishers and give them a try!
SHEESH! Even erotica has a taboo against under 18 sex partners, even if it might be historically accurate. But the YA crowd is getting away with it?
So what's wrong with the romance/women's fiction market that they are more prudish in regards to teens and sex than books being aimed at the teens themselves? Is it just that people as adults don't want to admit that teens might have sex? Is denial the word of the day or is it simply hide-bound ways? What do you think?
Link
I had a dream. I was talking to a friend of mine who has been gone for a few years. I don't remember the dream, but I had the distinct feeling I had been comforted by her.
The upshot of this whole thing is I'm now no longer worrying about the procedure. I can't say I'm doing jumping jacks about it, however I'm pretty much just being mellow and going forward.
I also remembered my appendectomy. I was ten, and I remember sliding from the bed to the gurney as they were about to take me to surgery. The nurse said, "Brave little girl." I wasn't crying, complaining, whimpering, or anything. But I know I was scared. I just didn't figure it would do me any good to be all emotional. I understood this was a life or death situation.
When I looked at how my ten-year-old self acted and how I'm acting now, I thought, "I can be at least as good as my 10-year-old self, if not better."
After that, the stress melted away.
My surgery is set for Thursday, May 18th. I know that this surgery is done every day in just about every hospital across the U.S. I know women who've had this surgery and pulled through just fine. But I'm scared.
I really don't like being afraid. I used to describe myself as a Phobophobic--afraid of being afraid. I always think fear is a paralyzing factor for me and it prevents me from moving forward. And it's not easy to frighten me. Physically I don't really get fearful at horror films or scary stories. Most things that frighten others are nothing to me. I'm not afraid of death, not really.
Yet, that's what I'm afraid will happen. I could die. Of course, the cancer is killing me anyway, even if it is oh-so-slow, so either way I have to have surgery.
I'm afraid of dying because I don't want to leave my husband. Not only will he be pretty much alone, he's young enough--26--that he's facing a very long time before he'd join me.
In many ways, I wish we knew more about how long it takes a soul to be reincarnated back here on Earth. If I had that information, I would wait to be born till he was ready to follow, or, perhaps, go ahead of me this time. I think my mind would rest a bit easier.
As it is, I will lay this all in the lap of the gods. What more can I do?
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