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To all of you who answered, and to those who couldn't think of anything to say and didn't:
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Many people have mentioned adoption to me. Yes, that is an option I will go forward with. But Tessie won't be the name I give the girl. Her middle names won't be Kate Victoria, either. I'm saying good-bye, not to someone in my mind, but someone who's been hanging around waiting for me to become pregnant with her. That's why I've been so specific about what she looks like and that I'd be having a girl.
So, it's not as you might think, a fatalistic good-bye to all children I might adopt. It's a good-bye to the charming spirit I have to let go because she needs to be reborn into this world.
It just won't be as my child with my husband.
And I do hope one day I find a girl who calls me mom who might have been mine.
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